I hate my job

Work is really beginning to interfer with my personal life. I am cranky, irritatable and depressed. I just am never happy at home, like I should be. I try to keep work at work, but when I get home, it's just knowing I have to go back to work the next day that upsets me.

BUT, my goal is to find a new job by December. I found two jobs at our local hospital (I worked in that hospital taking the baby portraits about 3 years ago), so I am going to go home and update my resume (that I haven't touched in 3 years), and apply for those jobs.

Wish me luck!!!

Fertility Spells

I'm not sure if any of my readers here have ever tried a fertility spell before, but I thought that since we've only got 1 shot with this fertility treatment (injectibles) this month, that I could take all the luck/spells/wishes for a positive result as possible.

So, I searched eBay and other websites and have ordered a fertility spell. They have a guarantee, so I am very hopeful.

My husband and I are believers in magic (not magician magic, but Wiccan/Witchcraft type magic). That kind of magic has to do with energy forces and positive energies. Sometimes it takes a professional that does these kinds of spells for a living, for it to be successful (which is why we aren't consulting the books ourselves...we aren't practicers).

Anyhow, I'm really hoping this will be it and we'll see that BFP within a few weeks!!

Canoeing in the Yellow Breeches Creek

Yesterday, DH and I decided to take our dog, Daisy, to go canoeing for the day. It started out nice and peaceful. Dh caught a brown trout and we were heading further down the creek so he could find some more fishing holes and to enjoy the ride.

Well, we tipped over 3 times. My poor dog cannot swim so we had to rescue her, the camera was lost in the water (DH had to go back to the one spot we tipped and found it), we lost a paddle and all the bait. We probably lost more, but we don't remember. I've been canoeing ever since I was little, and this was the first time I have ever fallen out.

Anyways, today I am all beat up. It appears my one toe "jammed" and it's all black and blue. I have black and blue spots on my legs and arms, and cuts all over my feet and my one finger. What a miserable experience.

Anyhow, here's a good picture that we took at the beginning.

Injectibles

This past Wednesday, I officially started my injectible cycle. The first medication we are using is Lupron. I take 20 units daily in the evening. Lupron is supposed to supress my natural hormone production, so that my cycle will be completely regulated by the medications.

The first shot I didn't even feel in my thigh, but last night it hurt and left a little bruise! I'm hoping I begin to get used to shots again, so I can hopefully just do them by myself and not have to rely on DH to do them for me. (I had allergy shots for 6 years and I became so used to needles that it didn't bother me at all....I think it's been too long since my allergy shots and I have become not too fond of getting pricked with them!)

Anyhow, next week I will be stopping the birth control pill and will get a period and then have baseline bloodwork and an ultrasound done. After that's done, I will be beginning the follicle stimulating (Follistim) injections and having quite frequent ultrasounds and bloodwork done.

A week or two later we do the trigger shot, followed by 2, IUI's. If it's successful the first time around, we may just have an April Fool's baby next year!

We are hoping and praying it works first time around, because our insurance doesn't cover any of the treatment, and it's about $2500 per cycle. We won't be able to afford a second cycle!

RE Appointment

Well, it all went really well. The doctor has a plan of action and he said Clomid is not on it anymore. He said my body doesn't react to it, and it would be a waste to go on a higher dose.

The next step (I had bloodwork yesterday), is to start provera to induce a period, then take birth control for 21 days to suppress LH, then take some sort of injection that goes under the surface of the skin for 3 days, then start with the FSH shots for 8-12 days, followed by a trigger shot and 2 IUI's.

It sounded like a wonderful plan until the nurse went over the cost with us. 1 cycle = $4,000 - 6,000. Holy Hell...that's more than what I make in 2 months. We have that amount in savings, but that is supposed to pay our bills while John is doing his career change. So, I don't know what to do now.

My Doctor's Appointment

I WASTED AN ENTIRE MONTH WAITING FOR THIS DAMN APPOINTMENT!

I think that just about sums up how it went. I go in there, speak to the nurse practicioner and was told I probably have PCOS and that I need to lose weight and see a fertility specialist. She put extra emphasis on needing to loose weight and have a "personal trainer" and "nutritionist."

You know what? I am already struggling as it is...I don't think I need to be told that. If I could find a crying face, I'd insert it here. It just really hurts when someone you go to for help tells you that. And for 30 minutes of waiting in the waiting room for 10 minutes of talking in her office, I think my visit should have been free.

I guess on the bright side is that I just called the Fertility Center and I have an appointment there at 1:30pm on Friday...bad part is that all of that money is coming out of pocket.

Power Outage During a Mammogram

I was met with, 'Hi! I'm Belinda!' This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, 'All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear? '

I'm thinking, 'Belinda, try decaf. Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, 'Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?'

Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other boob wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when we heard, then felt a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off!

'Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag.' Belinda headed for the door. 'Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?' I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, 'Oh, you fussy puppy... The door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back.'

Before I could shout 'NOOOO!' she disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked; and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass!

After exchanging polite 'Hi, how's it going' type greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calm as possible 'Uh, yes, yes I did thanks.'! 'You bet, take care' Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin and making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, 'Oh I am sooo sorry!' The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?'

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps.......

Thought for Today

Why is it that whenever I get a new shirt/outfit, I ALWAYS spill something on it the first day I wear it? Today, the culprit was macaroni and cheese on my new pink shirt.

History Mystery

Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln .

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the kicker... A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

What a busy weekend!

I haven't had the opportunity to write due to a crazy and busy weekend.

First of all, I am proud to say we finally closed the refinance loan on our house LATE Friday night...it was around 10pm. Originally it was supposed to be around 5:30, but the closer called off sick at the last minute, so the next available person was at 10...we stayed up past our bedtime just to get the loan closed! It's a relief. The cash back we're supposed to get is going to be wired into our account tomorrow, so we are excited about that. DH can finally get his motorcycle and I have money for us to get fertility treatments.

The next busy part of our weekend is my poor baby (my Lhasa Apso dog, Karma). During the day on Saturday I noticed she was licking her butt quite a bit, but thought it was just itchy. When it was time to get ready for bed I decided to feel her tail, because it looked really wet and dirty...well...it was matted like crazy! So, I started to just cut out the mats when I noticed that her left anal gland ruptered. Poor thing. Wish I would have looked at her butt earlier to notice that it was swollen and about to rupture, but she didn't do any of the other symptoms (scooting of the rear end or anything like that)...well..I decided to try and wait until the morning since she was sleeping okay. I couldn't fall asleep, so I called the emergency vet about 30 minutes of trying to fall asleep and they said to bring her right in. So...I sat at the emergency vet from 11:30pm - 2am. I was tired and hungry. Luckily, they had an M&M machine in the lobby so I managed to find a quarter and get some candy to tide me over. So, anyways, they fushed out both anal glands, shaved her tushy and gave her antibiotics. All day Sunday she kept by my side (she was hurting....her poor tushy hurt!). So, for the next 10 days I have to give her antiobiotics twice a day and warm tushy compresses twice a day.

The picture above is of Karma getting her warm tushy compress